Say My Name

Imagine this scenario:

You are at work and a coworker calls your name over and over and over and over and over.... You catch my drift. 

And when you turn and say "yes, coworker, how may I help you?" They say nothing in response. This scenario repeats several times an hour. 

You begin to think that this is less a job and more some type of research into a new form of psychological torture. 

So eventually instead of responding politely and civilly you end up turning and shouting "What, coworker?! What do you want?" And still all he wants is to say your name. Like you're Beyoncé or something. 

And this is to say nothing of the other coworker who is happily doing his job and ignoring you until you need to accomplish anything at all when all of the sudden he can't live without your undivided attention. 

And the best part of all is that this volunteer work. You chose it and you don't get paid. 

Welcome to stay at home parenthood. 

Green Smoothies!

I love green smoothies, and even better, so does my kid!  He points at the blender and shouts, "Green smoothie!"  Which, in his language sounds more like "Deen Mootie!"  But I speak his language...sometimes.  Unfortunately his word for smoothie, movie and poopy all sound the same.  You just have to look at what he's pointing at for clarification...blender, TV or bathroom?

Anyway, while poking around the world wide interweb this morning, I ambled over to 100 Days of Real Food...an excellent resource if you are thinking of making changes away from processed foods and moving into the realm of "real food."

While there, I found this page: How to Make a Perfect Green Smoothie.  Considering I whipped up a green smoothie for breakfast this morning and found it just a touch bitter, the tips on this page are super helpful.  She says to keep it to a 60:40 ratio.  Sixty percent fruit to 40% green leafy veggies with a 1:1 ratio of veggie to liquid.

So what does that mean?

My morning smoothie would have tasted better had I whipped out the measuring cups and measured out 1 packed cup of spinach, 1 cup of OJ and 1.5 cups of frozen fruit.  Now they don't list juice on their acceptable liquid list, but milk makes me gassy and water just tastes so...watered down, and I'm guessing wine wouldn't be an acceptable alternative.  So the only other liquid that left me was OJ.

Apparently, another tip is to blend the liquid and green leafies first, then add the frozen fruit and blend until smooth for a delicious, sweet, creamy smoothie.

You can beat I will try again tomorrow with these tips in mind.

Recipe-ish: Homemade Chicken Stock

Homemade chicken stock in my chicken noodle soup.

One of my favorite things to make from scratch is chicken stock.  This was a favorite of mine to make since long before I had kids and got all crunchy and cheap.  Something about throwing a bunch of bones and root vegetables into a big boiling vat and letting it simmer appeals to the mad scientist in me...or maybe the old crone (toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble...and all that).

Anyway, Shakespeare and old crones aside, chicken stock is great to have on hand at all times for various recipes or for actually making soup.

I almost never start with raw chicken.  Typically I make my stock from a chicken that I roasted for dinner.  So here's the usual routine: Day 1: Cook a chicken, eat chicken for dinner.  (A side of stuffing and a green vegetable makes for a reasonably healthy meal that pleases everyone.)  Day 2: Throw the remains of the chicken into a big stockpot with an onion or two, a few garlic cloves, a couple carrots, some celery stalks, a bay leaf and salt and pepper.

Now here's the beautiful thing about stock making, it's an art, not a science...very open to interpretation.  About the only thing I do that makes it seems "work-like" is peel the carrots.  I peel them because otherwise they can add a note of bitterness to your stock and no one wants that.

Otherwise, you can quarter the onion and leave the peel on, halve the garlic cloves, again you don't need to de-paper them if you don't want to.  Rinse the carrots and celery and trim the root end of the celery.  Include the celery leaves because they have a lot of flavor.  Throw in the bay leaf, add some salt and pepper...and let it roll.

For real, that's it.

Bring it up to a boil, then reduce it to a simmer.  Cover and let simmer for 2-ish hours.  After that time, turn off the heat, push it to the back burner and leave it to cool.  After it's cooled, strain the bones and veggies out.  You can strain with cheesecloth if you want to, but I usually just use a fine mesh sieve.

I like to let the stock cool completely in the fridge before I skim the fat because once it's cooled, the fat solidifies and lifts right off the top of the stock.  Canning jars are super useful for storing stock in the fridge.  If you're going to can it, though, make sure you pressure can.  Water-bath canning is not sufficient to make chicken stock shelf-stable.

When the chicken is cool enough to handle, peel all the chicken you can off the bones.  Use it to make chicken salad or shredded chicken tacos or enchiladas. You can even freeze it to use at a later date.

Since I went ahead and made chicken soup with mine, I'll include a recipe for that in an upcoming post.

ETA: So it occurred to me after reading a more professional and better written blog today that I left the water out of this post!  I'm a genius.

Homemade Chicken Stock Recipe

Leftover whole chicken
2-3 carrots
2-3 celery stalks
1 large onion
3-4 garlic cloves
1 bay leaf
salt and pepper

Place the chicken, carrots (peeled and trimmed), celery (root end trimmed), onion (quartered or roughly chopped), garlic cloves (halved), and bay leaf in large stock pot.  Add enough water to cover everything.  Add salt and pepper.

Bring to a boil, reduce to simmer and cover.  Simmer for 2 hours.  Remove from heat and allow to cool.  Strain and defat stock.  Store in fridge or freezer or pressure can and store in a cool, dark place.

Remove the chicken meat from the bones and store for other usage.

Already a Bad Blogger

Well, this past week got the best of me.  Two funerals, a snow day and a generally depressing week.  The week got in the way of my meal plan and my life in general.

I will get back on track and regale you with tales of my homemade yogurt, chicken stock, chicken soup, bread, granola and everything else I'm up to.

I also want to write about the joys of being a working mom, but I haven't put in a routine work week once yet.  If things get on track, I'll post daily this week!

Stay tuned for my many varied and interesting comments.

On Loving and Dying

Last week, my grandmother died.  Here are some of the things I will remember most fondly about her: her silver-white hair, her soft skin, the way she used to make steak and eggs (Spanish style with shredded salt beef mixed in with scrambled eggs...yum).  We used to go over to her house every Sunday and watch movies with our cousins.  She would pop popcorn on the stove-top and always use too much oil so the popcorn would be soggy.  My sister, my cousins and I would watch Spaceballs and Clue on VHS over and over again every week.  She was sweet and kindly, and when she was well, she always had a smile on her face.  But she hadn't been well for a while, and the grandmother of my memories has been gone for a long time.  

Her death was expected, and while we will surely mourn and miss her, I feel comforted knowing that she is no longer in pain or suffering.  I believe that she is somewhere better now, reunited with her husband, the babies she lost decades ago and other friends and loved ones who passed on first.

What was unexpected last week was to learn that a coworker of my husband's had also died.  A coworker who had so much in common with us that it is eerie.  My husband would often come home telling me about how the two of them laughed together about their "crunchy" wives.  They would swap stories about co-sleeping, cloth diapering, new organic foods we insisted that the whole family try or other ridiculous things we would do.  I never met his wife, but I would laugh every time my husband would bring a story home about them.  She sounded like a kindred spirit.

Once upon a time, I worked where my husband does now and I remember this young man well.  He was funny and nice.  He was one of those guys you felt like you knew forever even if you only met him once or twice.  He had an ease about him that helped other people (even shy people like me) feel relaxed.  And if his wife and I look a little alike (according to my husband), he and my husband certainly shared some personality traits.

My grandmother was 93.  Our friend was 34.

That is far too young to leave this earth.  Far too young to leave your little children behind.  Far too young to leave a widow.  I can only hope that she and her children can find some peace and comfort in the support of family and friends at a time like this.

It serves as a reminder.  We never what's ahead for us in this lifetime, and while we might all answer philosophical and religious questions differently, if you love someone, let them know.

I love so many people...shall I start with the person likely to read this first?  I love my sister, and my life without her would be harder, quieter, tamer.  She is a support to me, and a wonderful aunt to my boys.  Without her in my life, I would be lost and lonely.

I love my husband.  He's funny, charming, kind.  He is stubborn, stoic, and sometimes a pain in the ass.  But I fell in love with him the first moment I saw him in 11th grade, and I haven't looked back.  Without him, I wouldn't have my two beautiful sons; without him, my life would be radically different.  And I love my life.

I love my mom.  There is so much to love about my mom I don't even know where to start.  But I'll tell you this...if there is someone on her way to heaven, it's my mom.  She is selfless to a fault; she's kind, generous, funny.  She's the most hands-on Grandma you could imagine.  She's the best mom out there, and I can only hope to be half the mom she is.

My dad...I do love him.  Our relationship is hard to define.  We don't talk much, and part of me really wishes I could change that, but I honestly don't know how.  But he's as funny as my sister is, as stubborn as my mom is.  He's helped to shape me in both good and bad ways.

I'm lucky that I have so many people in my life to love that I can't possibly list them all.  My two rascally nephews, my sweet and bossy niece.  My mother-in-law, my father-in-law, both my brothers-in-law.  Aunts, uncles, cousins, friends.  But of course, more than anyone, I love my children.  I snuggle my boys daily and tell them I love them daily.  Life is too short to do anything else.

Yesterday’s Homemade: Chocolate Sauce

Disclaimer: This is not my picture.  I will add pictures
of my actual chocolate sauce ASAP.

My kid slurps down chocolate milk like there is no tomorrow.  And if I allow the chocolate milk train to run dry, he might just decide my tomorrows are all done.  For that reason, I keep us flowing in fresh, local milk and homemade chocolate sauce.

I’ve tried a bunch of different recipes and the one in this post is my favorite.  Some of them are grainy, some are clumpy.  Some thicken unevenly, so you’ve got watery liquid on top and thick goopy syrup at the bottom.  

This one is smooth and rich.  It’s not as sweet as store-bought sauce, but you can always adjust the sugar accordingly.  I actually like the fact that it’s less sweet because he drinks so much of it…I realize I could say no to chocolate milk, but on a day when the only other thing he will eat is crackers and like one raisin, I feel like the chocolate milk at least provides some protein and calories.

And I know…refined sugar…gasp! I don’t care.  This is the world we live in folks, the kid is going to eat sugar.  At least the homemade version contains no HFCS and the sugar is organic and fair-trade.  Deal with it.  If you feel the need, you can substitute maple syrup, honey or agave nectar, but that might make your sauce gloopy or grainy.  Experiment as needed.

Cooling chocolate sauce...yum!

The recipe is really simple:

1 ½ cups water
1 ½ cups sugar
1 cup cocoa powder
1 dash of salt
1 tsp vanilla

Throw everything except the vanilla into a medium sized saucepan on low heat.  Stir constantly until the sugar and cocoa have dissolved.  When I say constantly, I mean as much as you can.  I sure as hell can’t stand there stirring all flipping day long while my two kids are screaming at me like maniacs.  So stir as much as possible, knowing the world won’t end if you put the whisk down for a second.

Anyhoo, let it simmer gently for a moment or two.  It will thicken slightly, but it’s not going to be as thick as purchased chocolate sauce.  Take it off the heat and add the vanilla.  Stir that in.  I like to let it cool completely in the pan.  My favorite part of cooking…walk away and ignore.  When you remember, pour the sauce into a glass jar and store it into the fridge. 

Don't mind the tea-kettle with the partially melted exterior in the background.

Mix a couple teaspoons with milk for delicious chocolate milk.  You could pour it over vanilla ice cream too, and I’m sure you could also make hot cocoa with it.  I’d say heat a cup of milk, stir the sauce in, and top with whipped cream…yum.

There Are No Sick Days in Motherhood

What is least compatible with having young children?  Having any kind of illness.  You know who has absolutely no compassion?  Young children.  You know who doesn’t give one little rat’s ass that you feel like garbage and want to crawl into a hole and die?  Young children.

The same people who you will hold, and love, and caress while they sneeze and puke on you will then try to physically lift you off the couch while you are lying in a stupor.  They will jump and whine at you to get them raisins as you drag yourself around on your knees.

You know what else doesn’t stop for illness?  Housework.  You feel like crap and would rather crawl into a pile of laundry and disappear than wash said pile of laundry?  Too bad.  The towels don’t wash themselves, dinner doesn’t cook itself, the floor is not self-mopping.  (Note to self…invent self-mopping floor, make millions.)

This is why moms don’t get sick.  Or at least, if they get sick, they keep mothering, they keep laundering, they keep tending to.  We aren’t martyrs; we are simply people for whom there is no substitute.  Sure, my own mom can come over and help when I’m feeling really bad (as she did when I had a recent bout of mastitis).  But there’s no one else who can nurse the baby.  It’s no one else’s job to look after my little people. Sure, they have a dad...but come on.  He's a dad. 

So suck it up, mamas.  There are no sick days in motherhood.  

Meal Plan Check-in

Meal planning is as much an art as a science.  Part of it requires getting creative with the ingredients at hand; part of it is taking into consideration the foods your family likes (especially when it concerns picky children).

As I go through the weeks, I take notes on the meal plan writing in substitutions or cancellations.  This past week was tricky because I started working, so I made a plan that I thought would accommodate my new work schedule, but then work was cancelled on Wednesday because of the weather...and that cancellation threw off Thursday's plan.

So here are the highlights...

Monday: It was supposed to be meatloaf with a green and a starch.  We had a long day running around to the ENT and the pharmacy, so by the time we got back home from all that, the baby was crabby, and I couldn't fix dinner.  Instead I made a sort of turkey-quinoa mash with peas.  I felt okay with that because I used all the same stuff I would have with the meatloaf, just in a different construction.

Tuesday: My first day at work.  My job is super easy and, so far, kind of boring, but that will change soon.  All the same, I was away from the house and kids for several hours, so when I got home, the baby needed to nurse and sleep in my arms...that's how he rolls.  Add to that, my husband wasn't that hungry and had heartburn when he got home, so taco Tuesday turned into Cheerios for him, popcorn for me.

Wednesday: Pulled pork was scheduled, pulled pork was eaten.

Thursday: Leftover pulled pork was scheduled...there were no leftovers.  I was going to make BLTs, but we were out of bread and I didn't have time to bake a loaf.  So we had leftover night.  A mishmash of all the leftovers we had in the fridge, warmed up and served family style.

Friday: On track with pasta with peas and bacon, a recipe I found in Jaime Oliver's Food Revolution cookbook.

Saturday and Sunday: Leftovers/play it by ear.

So we were slightly off track on a couple days, but we still ate homemade food and avoided the order out trap that we used to fall into once a week or more.

Life happens, and sometimes it becomes hard to stick to the plan.  I find it necessary to have a little bit of leeway built into our meal plan, as well as our lives in general.  If I hold myself too accountable, I'm likely to go crazy.  So I like to think of the meal plan as more a guideline than a strict code.

It’s All Connected

And I knew it was. 

What’s all connected, you may be asking.  Here’s the answer…it’s a long one, and while I will try to be funny, I can’t make any promises. 

My son, my three-year-old, has a fairly significant speech delay.  He talks, but not much and what he says is unintelligible.  The funny thing is, in spite of the fact that I’m the only one who ever has any clue what he’s saying (and even I guess quite frequently), he actually makes his point abundantly clear with gestures and grunts.  Whenever possible, my 4-year-old niece translates for him, or just tells us her version of what he wants (as in, “when I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.”), but she’s not always available for hire.  Anyway, the running joke has been, “for a kid who can’t talk, he sure gets his point across.”

In addition to his speech delay, he snores like a jackhammer, breathes through his mouth and is chronically stuffed up.  Now in the grand scheme of “things that could be wrong with your children,” this is all quite minor.  I realize that I am very lucky to have not one but two happy, healthy children.  However, this is still a problem that affects his (and my) life on a daily basis.  He’s given to fits and tantrums, as all three-year-olds are, but I often wonder if he would have fewer if speech came easier to him. 

Plus, kids are funny and they say hilarious things.  They astound their parents with their observations and questions.  It kills me that part of him is locked away behind a mouth and tongue that won’t cooperate when his brain tells them to.

He was in Birth to Three for a while, then he turned 3 and aged out.  At that point, we enrolled him in a special education preschool class through the town.  He is definitely making progress, but it’s slow and tedious progress.  Every syllable that he utters clearly feels like a victory, but then he’ll go right back to adding the “d” sound to everything he says.

So why is he speech delayed?  I have been dying for this answer for quite some time.  Low tone was the official Birth to Three diagnosis.  It made sense to me because he always had this hang-dog open-mouth look, so the speech therapists kind of jumped on that and the fact that it wasn’t apraxia or hearing loss.  My family always seemed skeptical, but as there was no other clear cause, I went with it. 

Finally, my cousin, who also happens to be a speech therapist, suggested we take him to ENT (ear, nose and throat) doctor.

I took him to one through Connecticut Children’s Medical Center even though my husband and I had heard good things about a private practice ENT a few towns over.  I hated the CCMC doctor.  He was brusque and dismissive, didn’t seem interested in my kid or his issues and did nothing to make the exam easier on my child.

Husband and I decided a second opinion was in order.

So I scheduled an appointment with the recommended doctor and I could already tell over the phone that I liked their practice.  It was night and day.  The whole office was bright and colorful, with toys everywhere.  The doctor took an extensive history (in another toy-filled office).  Then he did the exam, employing more toys to distract my child while he looked in his ears, nose and throat.

He determined that my little guy has fluid in his ears, swollen adenoids and potential allergies. 

“It’s all connected,” he said.  The swollen adenoids cause fluid build-up, which means he’s not hearing properly; if he’s not hearing speech properly, he can’t recreate speech properly.  Plus he’s not moving air through his nose and throat properly because he’s so stuffed up from the swollen adenoids and chronic rhinitis (aka chronic stuffy nose).

In my heart of hearts, I knew there was more going on.  To hear someone say, “it’s all connected” felt like a validation. 

I started him on his meds that day.  That night when he went to bed, he was breathing so silently, I actually put my hand on his chest to make sure he was, in fact, breathing. 

Sunday night, his breathing was loud and ragged.  He sweated profusely at the effort to pass air though a nasal system that was

almost completely blocked.

Monday night, he breathed so freely and easily, I could barely hold back tears as I listened to him.

With any luck, the regimen of medications he’s on will clear up the swelling and fluid.  We’ll have to continue to give him nasal spray and use a humidifier at night.  If the medications don’t work, we may be looking at surgery for tube insertion and adenoid removal. 

Only time will tell.      

A Semi-Homemade Dinner: Pulled Pork and Coleslaw

I used to think Food Network’s Semi-Homemade show was lame and kind of a cop out.  Then I had kids…funny how your perspective changes.  At the same time that I want to provide them with healthy nutritious meals and snacks, if I try to do everything, I will literally have a nervous breakdown. 

Digression: My mother recently told me a story about some friend or neighbor she knew way back when.  Said friend or neighbor had one child and kept everything ridiculously tidy.  As in bathed the child every time he or she ate something.  This person then had a second child and attempted to keep up the same crazy-ass standard.  She had a nervous breakdown.  True story.

Anyway, my point is, trying to do it all will literally send you to the nuthouse.  (Do nuthouses still exist?  I don’t really know, but either way, the men in white coats will come to take you away, he he.)

So the other day, I made pulled pork for dinner.  It was flipping delicious, and no, I will not be sharing the recipe.  It’s my sister’s recipe, and it’s her secret recipe.  I mean, she shared it with me because I’m her sister and I’m totally awesome.  Also she shared it with everyone who came to the reception following my children’s baptism, so if you were there, you got it.  Otherwise, I can’t help you.

So anyway, I followed the recipe as dictated (orally, never in writing), and it is, itself, a semi-homemade recipe.  As a side dish, I served coleslaw that I bought…in a bag…at a big box store.  There’s a chance I’m not as crunchy as I thought I was.

Now, yes, the coleslaw was a purchased mix of shredded cabbage and carrots, and it wasn't even organic (gasp!) but at least I made the dressing for it myself.  It was a simple mix of lemon juice, olive oil, salt and sugar. 

Anyway, that’s the kind of semi-homemade I like.  Pulled pork in the crockpot and a side of coleslaw…but the bread I served it on was homemade.  I live for the small wins.  

The Importance of Meal Planning

I am not what one would call an organized person.  Sometimes this basic tenet of my personality drives me crazy.  I really wish I were on top of things, but more times that not, I honestly don't have a clue what's going on.  Also I forget things easily and I...what was I saying?  You get the point.

But back in the fall, I decided that my grocery budget was out of control, and the main reason it was out of control was the simple fact that we were grocery shopping too often.  The more times you step foot into the grocery store, the more opportunity you have for impulse buys, and the grocery store marketing team is an expert at setting you up for these impulse buys.  Whether it's a last minute reward for your kid or a sudden treat for you, those chips and M&Ms have a way of making it into your cart, or my cart anyway.

So back in November, we started meal planning.  I took stock of my freezer, fridge and cabinets, thought of a few meals I could make with what we already had, wrote out a list of other meals we like and the ingredients we would need, and voila, a meal plan for the next four weeks came together.

I honestly wasn't sure I could stick with it at first.  Like I said, Type A, I am not, so I viewed the first month or two as something of a trial.  Of course, the holiday season--with its unexpected treats and meals out--managed to throw some weeks out of whack, but such is life.

There are a few things that I love about meal planning.  First, one of the things I always tended to forget in my pre-plan days was to actually take meat out of the freezer, so I would have a fully stocked freezer, yet nothing to eat.  And I know I can thaw things in the microwave, but it always seems to partially cook and make the meat kind of tough.  Second, my husband is organized, and he loves the idea of knowing what's coming ahead of time.  And third, it's definitely saved us money.

The first month, I kept it very bare bones.  In fact, I pretty much forgot to buy snack or lunch food.  It kept the budget down, but it's not practical as a stay at home mom of little ones to have ZERO snack food and rely solely on dinner leftovers as next-day lunches.

The first month...sloppy, confusing with lots of changes to account for the holiday season.  I also kept track of how much we spent in the margin.  Where is says "fish" is not actually fish, but a local farm, Fish Family Farm, where I buy milk and sometimes eggs.

The following month, I bought a few more snacky items, but honestly the cost of granola bars and such is astronomical.  Especially considering my kid loves food in bar form and would eat 10 granola bars a day if I let him.  Add in my fight against GMOs, high fructose corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oils and purchasing bars just came to seem like a losing battle.

December 2013, still contains lots of holiday craziness, still has margin notes on extra trips to various markets, and still lacks any kind of mention or lunch or snacks.

So to keep costs down, I started making bars.  It's really easy and I promise I'll post a recipe soon.  But the point is, by not buying convenience foods, I can spend more on organic/GMO-free ingredients and make those items myself.  

Another way to keep costs down is to be diligent in price comparisons.  My sister learned that she can get a better deal on things like organic flour, sugar, and organic snack/lunch foods by ordering through Amazon.  So she orders, using Prime and Subscribe and Save to save money, and we split orders.

So here is a rough guide to meal planning:

1. Take stock.  What do you already have?  Boxes of pasta? Packages of frozen meat?  Bags of frozen veggies? Make a list of all the major ingredients you already own.

2. Keeping the above list in mind, write down meals you like and eat frequently.

3. Take out a calendar and see how your month looks.  Do you have a date on the horizon? Plans with friends? A special birthday dinner? Take those things into account when making out your plan.

4. Write or type out a grid of the next four weeks.

5. Fill in the blanks with your planned meals.

6. Referencing your meal plan, make a shopping list.  Don't forget snacks and breakfast/lunch food.

7. Do a little price comparison.  Do you have a mega-mart nearby? We do our major ingredient shopping at our local mega-mart, then I hit Whole Foods for meat.

Some things to consider.  First, going vegetarian once or twice a week will save you money.  I occasionally replace the meat in our tacos with beans or serve just spaghetti with a side salad rather than meatballs or chicken Parmesan.  Next, buying seasonal fruits and veggies will also save you money, plus it's better for the environment and your local economy.  Third, think about the days you are busiest and either plan a leftover night or use your Crock-pot those days.  Last, buying ingredients and making your own food will cut down your budget, allowing you to buy organic/GMO-free foods for your family.

The month ahead, a far more readable plan, with a space for monetary notes in the margin and suggestions below for breakfast, lunch and snacks.  Getting better at this whole planning ahead thing.